2010 blew past us, but not without leaving its mark. There are so many things that happened, good and bad, that i don't even know where to begin... Let's start with Michael standing on his very own for the first time in January <3 I will never forget how his eyes lit up as soon as he realized what he was doing. He was always so bright and happy. February marked Me and Brad's 2 year anniversary together <3 And then we come to a screeching halt rolling into March... the month when our lives were changed forever. We lost our beautiful baby boy on march 2nd due to an intestinal block. It all happened so sudden...within 36 hours our little Bubbas went from perfect to gone. Not one day goes by where we long to have him back and love and miss him. The next few months were kind of a blur to us, we did move from our apartment in citrus heights to an apartment in folsom in April. In the middle of May I returned to work, I had a hard time getting back into the idea of a normal routine...all i could think about was all the families and babies that came into my work and it just made me angry/sad/jealous. We spent the summer trying to get out of the house whenever possible...nature is always so soothing. We also found out that Brad's parent's were going to set us up with a house that we can make the payments on and have a place of our very own, so we put an offer on the house next door to his parent's! By the time September/October rolled around our lease was up at the apartment and we didn't have quite enough money to make rent and ended up getting evicted (knowing that we were in process of buying a house, it was no big deal) and we moved into my mom's garage/attic. The winter months were hard...more because of the holiday season but also because we found out that our little sister was pregnant...hearing that news at first felt like a dagger to the heart. nothing against my sister of course it was just the thought of someone else bringing a new baby to the family, i felt jealous, hurt, angry, and every other emotion in the book. Now having had time to get used to the idea, we are fine...the jealously doesn't really go away but that's how i have felt towards most pregnant women or women with small children...I am a mother without a child and it hurts bad. But the thought of having Christmas with the family just made me sick because our son wouldn't be there with us like he should be, so Brad and I did not attend the family get together this year..it was just too hard. About a week before christmas we had decided that the house next door was no longer a good choice for us and that we needed to take our bid off the house and start looking for another house. So on the search we are. Finally...New years...I must say that it hit me harder on new years than it did on Christmas being without Michael...all i could think about was that last new years i started the new year with our amazing little boy and this year I had to start the new year without him... All I can really say for 2011 is please be nice to us...nothing will ever change what happened last year and we will hold onto our memories of our little angel for the rest of our lives but we are praying for good things this year...
we love you always Michael Anthony Auch <3 3.13.09 to 3.2.10 <3
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