Numb

I wrote this when i woke up this morning...it just kinda came to me as i was writing so dont judge too badly, lol.

Its almost as i feel the same, until i think of that smile of yours. Then my memories fade to black and my life is turned upside down. It feels as if you are just at someone's house, or even somewhere far away, but deep down i know you aren't, youre watching down from up above. i hate to cry because i know you are watching but i hate to laugh because you arent there to join in. i feel so conflicted and really just dont know what to do. it feel like life is trying to carry on without you, but i just can't let it. i dont want to admit you are gone, you are my bubbas, my little sunshine. but i cannot hide, i must accept the truth, you're up in heaven with Nubbs waiting for the day you will see mama and dada again. You are so missed baby!! If only i could just hold you and see your beautiful smile again. We love you more than you will ever know bubbas, we are so lost without you <3